Alcohol Info.

Alcoholism ... the forgotten illness!

Alcohol is our elixir and our poison. 'Wine to make him glad,' say's the Psalmist (Psalm 104:15 TLB) .... but then we read in Proverbs:

"Whose heart is filled with anguish and sorrow? Who is always fighting and quarrelling? Who is the man with bloodshot eyes and many wounds? It is the one who spends long hours in the taverns, trying out new mixtures. Don't let the sparkle and the smooth taste of strong wine deceive you. For in the end it bites like a poisonous serpent; it stings like an adder. You will see hallucinations and have delirium tremens, and you will say foolish, silly things that would embarrass you no end when sober. You will stagger like a sailor tossed at sea, clinging to a swaying mast. And afterwards you will say, "I didn't even know it when they beat me up... Let's go and have another drink!"

(Proverbs 23:29-35 TLB)

Not a lot changed in 2000 years!

Alcoholism is the forgotten illness, an illness rarely thought of as a medical problem. This illness is spreading through our Islands, it's the legal drug that more and more of our young people are abusing.

We are fortunately emerging from an era in which the chronic alcoholic was rejected by the Public, the Doctors and the Church.

The man on the street usually thought of the alcoholic as a person of weak character; the psychiatrist as a symptom of underlying personality difficulties; the sociologist as a social problem; the law representative as a crime and possibly many a clergyman as a sin. The Medical profession, many members of the  public and the Church are coming to appreciate that alcoholism is a illness, a illness that can be prevented and cured.

No one would deny the seriousness of the problem Shetland is facing of drug abuse, and yet there exists, at present, once more the danger of forgetting that the most wildly used drug in our Islands is alcohol, and that the most  widespread form of both psychological drug dependence and physical drug addiction is alcoholism.

What is Chemical Dependency?

Alcohol and other drug addictions are progressive illnesses. In most people, addictions begin slowly and grow until the victim's life becomes progressively unmanageable. As repeated efforts to gain control over the addiction fail, life for the chemically dependent person begins to fall apart.

Alcoholism and other drug abuse can shatter lives. Consequences are often reflected in the addicted individual's family life, health, spiritual happiness, social life, school, church or work relationships and legal matters. In spite of these problems, the addicted person continues to use alcohol or other drugs. Repeated efforts to quit or cut down invariably fail.

Persons with a chemical addiction can stop using alcohol or other drugs for a while. But most need  help and support to stop for life. The individual who quits without a support network is usually (not always) overcome by an unbearable desire to resume alcohol or drug use.

The Road to Recovery:

Chemical dependency is a progressive illness. If you have a problem seek help - Shetland Alcohol Support Services, Shetland Community Drugs Team and AA are all available.

Reaching for support isn't weak; it can start you on the road to recovery.

Chemical dependency affects more than just the person who drinks or uses drugs. It affects everyone close to him or her.

If someone close to you has a alcohol or drug problem ...

Alcohol and drug addictions are not just phases or bad habits that will go away. If left untreated, chemical dependency can lead to premature death.

But when someone has a alcohol or drug  problem, it's not always easy to know what to do. Should you talk to them? Should you leave them alone? Should you get someone else to help?

Think about it this way. If you saw someone having a heart attack, you'd call an ambulance. If they were depressed, you'd listen to their problems. If they wanted to hurt themselves, you would try to stop them. You'd be there for them. That's what being a friend is all about.

But it's hard to love and support someone who breaks promises, forgets to call, borrows money and never pays it back, and gets "high" instead of spending time with you like they used to.

You might never know it, but the person abusing alcohol or drugs needs you now more than ever before.

Common Fears:

Maybe you don't want to "interfere", or you're afraid they'll think you're being nosy, controlling, or possessive. Think about this: If the person you love were holding a gun to their head and no one "interfered," what would happen?

They might end up in an emergency room . . . or worse. The same applies to someone who's abusing drugs or alcohol - the problem is just as dangerous, and getting help just as critical.

Substance abuse is one of the leading causes of death in this country. Talking to  the person may save their life.

You're worried that they'll get angry or leave you?

It's never easy to talk to someone about their problems. Sometimes the person feels ashamed, guilty, and yes, angry.

But don't let a negative reaction keep you from trying. (The very worst you can do, is nothing) Prepare for it. Remember that alcohol and drug abuse causes many different kinds of behaviour, and anger and denial are part of it. Concentrate on your goal - to bring the issue out into the open. Let the individual know you want to help and you're there for them. You may be surprised to find that they were hoping all along that someone would try to help.

Talking it out ....

When, where?

Make sure the timing is right. Talk to the person when they're sober and clear-headed, like when they wake up in the morning, or before school or work. Never try to talk to someone when they're drunk, high, or coming down. You won't get anywhere.

• Try talking to your friend the day after they've been drinking or using drugs, when they're feeling hung over and guilty, and while their latest experience is still fresh. Remember that you're not addressing just one incident, but a pattern of behaviour - so it's okay if you can't talk to them right away. 

• It's best to meet in a neutral place - like a cafe, a park, or some other public place. Make sure it's not in a place where alcohol or other drugs are available.

• If you know an addiction counsellor, Shetland Alcohol Support Services (SASS), Shetland Community Drugs Team or AA member, or another concerned friend or family member you trust, it might help to enlist their help. Just make sure they are equally well prepared.

How?

• Always use a gentle, caring tone of voice -- you're talking to them out of love and concern, not out of pity.  

• Try not to judge. Don't start out by accusing your loved one of being a drug addict, or an alcoholic. This will only put them on the defensive, and they might just walk away.

• Tell them how you feel - how worried you are, and how you feel when you see them drunk or high. Express your concern.

• Tell the individual about the things you've seen them do when they're drunk or high. Use specific examples, and tell them you want to help.

Be prepared for anger, denial, and even rejection. Your friend may claim they don't have a problem, and may get angry. This is a common reaction for people using drugs or alcohol - it's part of the process. Don't take it personally - remember the person your friend really is, and focus on the problem, not their attitude.

Be prepared with information about where to get help. Offer to go with your partner, relative or friend to a meeting, or take them for an assessment. This will show you really care, and are willing to spend your own time and energy to get them the help they need. But only offer if you're ready to follow through.

• Offer to help them gather information, provide transportation, offer emotional support, etc. Helping doesn't mean paying for their treatment, or taking responsibility for their detoxification or recovery.

If your friend has a serious problem, and shows no commitment to getting help on their own, consider talking to an addiction counsellor, other family members and friends. Don't forget the local Church, our Ministers and Pastors are great listeners.

IMPORTANT: If the individual you are helping has shown any tendency toward physical violence or bizarre behaviour, you should NOT try to confront them on your own. Seek the help of a professional counsellor, partners and/or relatives before initiating any discussion.

Get professional advice.

When someone you care about is in trouble, it can be very painful, and confusing. Before you talk to the person, find someone you trust and discuss your concerns with them. You're NOT betraying the person by seeking advice. Keep the conversation private and confidential. You don't have to give the person's name, or any other specific information about them -- talk about the problem in general, and ask for advice. You can go to a pastor, teacher, doctor, nurse, parent, or someone in your place of worship. This is an important part of your preparation. It will help you figure out what steps to take to help the individual.

Accepting that there's a problem and asking for help can be scary and very difficult. The person will have to face the pain they've caused themselves and the people they love. This is often an extremely upsetting and painful process. But until the person can see the damage done by their drug or alcohol use, and the resulting loss of real friendships, happiness, and self-respect, they will not be committed to changing their life.

When the person is ready, you can offer them information about treatment and Support Groups in Shetland. Before your discussion, take the time to find out what's available where your friend lives. Write down the phone numbers, meeting places, and meeting times of Support Groups, Drug Agencies, Shetland Alcohol Support Services (SASS) and AA groups.

Have the information with you when you talk to the individual (and any other time you plan to discuss their problem). This way when they say they do want help, they won't have the opportunity to change their mind - you can just pick up the phone, make an appointment, or take them to a meeting.

The Road to Recovery:

Whether the individual succeeds in recovery or not, you should feel good about your decision to help them. Alcohol or Drug rehabilitation is a long process, and the person may go through several stages of success and failure before they regain control of their life. The most important thing is for you and the person to DO SOMETHING NOW. Every attempt at help is an opportunity for recovery, and it's never too late to start.

It's also important to deal with your own feelings about the person's problem. You may feel hurt, confused, guilty, worried that they'll hate you, or that they'll get in trouble because of you - and you can't keep all those feelings locked up. Talk about them. Talk to a close friend or family member. Attend a Support Group, a group specifically for friends, partners, and family members of alcohol/drug abusers.

The Shetland Alcohol Support Services (SASS), Shetland Community Drugs Team, and AA  will also support you.

In these Groups you can talk with other people who have been through the same thing with a partner, friend or family member. 

A final note:

No matter how much you care, and how hard you try, ultimately it's up to the individual to get help. The decision to stop using must come from them. They have to want it for themselves - not for you, their families, or anyone else. It is their commitment which will carry them through the difficult times ahead. You are not responsible for the individuals success or failure at recovery. All you can do is talk to them, show how much you care, and encourage them to get help. Your concern and support might be just what's needed to help the person turn their life around.